Feeling really drained and exhausted this week. Everyone is full of cold and miserable. Im feeling quite virtuous in that sense with just a minor sore throat. Mainly because in the past I always have had horrendus colds due to the amount of fags I used to smoke. So anything less is a bonus!

There is an underlying feeling of tension at nursery at the moment. Although things are slightly better than what they were.

I'll start from the beginning.

About two and a half months ago we got a new room supervisor for next door(lets call her f). My boss was so pleased as she was fairly mature and good at her job, and the toddler room really needed a good leader....all was well for a while....my room and toddler room, all started to socialise a bit together. I was sort of hoping that I had made a new friend, as the room supervisor was more my age than any of the younger ones.It was really nice, in fact it actually was too good to be true.

The more time I spent with her the more I suspected that she was taking drugs. I thought this on various occasions and confronted her with it on one night out. She admitted it, and tried to offer me some....which I declined....

From then on she became more and more blaze about telling me about about her drugs past and present. soooo flippant about it too. She took them on week nights before she was coming into work the next day and basically I dont think she ever came down from her cloud....

The nursery nurse in my room knew as well. We had spoken about it and decided to wait a while to see what happened, or if it affected her work. In the end it got to the point where she had told me via text she had taken 2 E's one thursday teatime. Alarm bells rang in my head at that point , then the nursery nurse told me she had taken 7 E's at the weekend. (That isnt the half of it either, but its enough to direct you to the idea that she had a slight problem)

We had to report her in the end. On tuesday she was dismissed.

What really makes me cross though is the way she directs her hatred and anger towards the people who reported her, instead of looking at herself and wondering why she lost her girlfriend (cheating whist high on drugs), her home, (couldnt afford it when her girlfriend moved out because all her wage went on socialising and drugs), and then her job. I really do not believe that it was a 'career' for her as anyone who is wrapped up in that world and taking those things is not fully engaged with the real world and is definatley not taking it seriously.

So although in one sense i feel relief, i also feel anger and frustration over it all. I especially feel guilt because I did actually like F. I thought she was lovely. But how much of it was the drugs, and how much was it actually the real her?

A x