I am really upset tonight.

I asked my mum to leave tonight when she visited as she was obviously pissed off with me. she wasnt making conversation and she couldnt look me in the eye. The reason? I am not with Jamie anymore and she believes that we should nt be friends either.

I cannot believe that after three months of unwavering support this woman has tried to make me feel as shit as she can just because i am not making the choices she wants me to. I sent her this text;

Thankyou for making tea. I probably was out of order for telling you to go and we should have talkedbut youve hurt me by only supporting me when its agreeable to you. I cant deal with you at the moment being 'annoyed' with me over making my own choices. Im sorry. x

I dont think that is a bad text to be honest, considering. She sent this back to me;

You were out of order. You are rude, selfish and a drama queen. You should try thinking of your kids first. Im not going to communicate with you for a while which is a shame for the girls. and please dont make trouble between us and jamie.

i still cannot believe she sent that. The whole text is loaded. she is putting me down, making me out to be an outsider, trying to guilt trip me, and blackmailing me emotionally.

i am not taking this on board.

what i do take offence to is the texts that she sent jamie, (who popped round this evening to talk about this)

on one text she stated that he had known her for 6 years and me for only 4 weeks. (implying that he should take her side obviously)

another text said 'she talks bollocks'

I cannot tell you how hurtful it is that my own mother would say that to another person.

I dont know what to do for the best. she believes that i was wrong to introduce the kids to jamie. okay if i had a different bloke in my bed every weekend maybe but its not the 1950's and i do know that me and jamie will be friends now. she said the very same about JY (my friend) and he has been my friend for the last 3 years! so the kids know who he is, and are fine with it as its regular and constant.

why does she hold an opinion on everything and why the bluddy hell do i get upset by what she thinks?

The ironic thing is that through this argument tonight, it almost seems as if its made me and jamie slightly closer.

Its a wierd set up. we are still texting and emailing just like last week. I think that i am still hoping that i might fall for him, but i cant tell him that. that would be leading him on.

we will see. carry on regardless....looking forward to the weekend loads. I am at the pub for a couple with a lass from work and then JY and me having a zombie dvd evening yeyyy

Then saturday its my housewarming party....

A x