how and why are some people popular and others arent? Just what are those qualities that give certain people that je ne sais quoi?
I have my own theories on this but just wanted some other ideas before i spout!
A
My Dad once said to me that if you exude warmth towards people they'll like you ; not always as simple as that though .
I suppose some popular qualities would be confidence but not arrogance , and being easygoing and relaxed , and , a sense of humour , and being dependable and reliable , and being nice looking helps I suppose . .
If someone comes across as weird , whether because they are weird , or just because they lack confidence socially then they'll not be popular , though if someones confidently an eccentric , amusing 'character' they may be very popular , and to be able to 'get away with' almost anything .
Then there are the 'irresistable bastard' , charming , 'jack the lad' types who you referred to before .
That's a complex and fascinating psychological question , Ava . . .
Weird - I guess that's why I'm unpopular. So many people are unlikeable in my school...but they have so many friends!?!?! I don't get it! 
 | SloshedAndVexed pro 2008-06-12 @ 21:29 |
Oh , Hi Foliedevoix , I'm sure you're far more popular than you realise , you're just slightly 'different' and some people are'nt sure how to relate or respond to that maybe , in which case , that's their loss more than yours ! , as you seem pleasant , polite , pretty , interesting and intelligent . . .
So There ! !
 | crazyrainbowblondie [Member] 2008-06-12 @ 22:54 |
shes also very astute, loving, talented and a damn fine sister!!
| crazyrainbowblondie [Member] 2008-06-12 @ 22:57 |
i am also unpopular, hence why i asked the question on my blog. But i dont think it is a bad thing really. I couldnt be in that spotlight for too long, it would make me uncomfortable. and i think that is a clue to why i might not be popular!! If that makes sense? a xxx
| crazyrainbowblondie [Member] 2008-06-12 @ 22:58 |
oooh thankyou. and that was a very insightful and thought provoking answer! A x
to be popular you still have to be close enough to the herd mentality, and be part of the herd. Once your unique qualities are too unique you'll lose your popularity
 | neonmeatdreams [Member] 2008-06-12 @ 11:35 |
Perhaps to be popular you have to be what everyone else desires to be...
I dunno....I'd probably be near the top if there was an unpopular list. But the popular people can be so mean to us unpopulars - and that means they are unpopular to us! It's confusing....
| SloshedAndVexed pro 2008-06-12 @ 21:44 |
It is complicated and confusing , not least because not everyone likes the same type of person , and people of your age , even more than older folk , are still learning about themselves , and how to relate to others .
I know I'm not popular , though I'd rather have just a few good friends , who know , accept and like / love me for who I am , than loads of 'superficial' ones .
You seem likeable to me , and do add to this if you have any more thoughts on it , and I'm waiting for Ava's answers to her question !
| crazyrainbowblondie [Member] 2008-06-13 @ 00:43 |
its not that mind blowing sorry. but it started a mini debate, so im happy!!
| crazyrainbowblondie [Member] 2008-06-13 @ 00:51 |
everything that you are is just as special and good as those people who may seem more 'popular'. being popular is about how many people like us and if the majority think we are great then we are popular! hee hee hence 'pop' music which quite a lot of people slag off actually!
well im not bothered about quantity, id much rather have quality. wouldnt you sweetie? xx but i do like pop music. sorrrreee
ax
 | Kibitz [Member] 2008-06-13 @ 05:36 |
Perhaps popularity's like a cake. A combination of ingredients. The sum of many parts.
A beautiful cake that's mouldy inside won't find many admirers despite initial attraction.
Most popular people I’ve encountered display very similar traits.
In no particular order .. confidence, empathy, humour, intelligence, achievement, energy and enthusiasm.
x
| crazyrainbowblondie [Member] 2008-06-14 @ 21:17 |
yes, I agree with that.
A x
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2008-06-11 @ 21:12